Hearts Renewed Read online

  "For a long time I considered it a nightmare. But then I realized that my mom can do the same thing just by looking at me. And it's got to be harder for him than it is for me. I know all the time that if something really terrible were to happen to me, my brother would know and he would find me. I feel bad sometimes that I don't feel him in the same way."

  "So he knew yesterday that you met someone?"

  "Not exactly. He knew that I was inexplicably happy and it only made sense to him that I met you."

  Gretchen snuggled into her arms. "I've heard of twins being separated at birth who live out similar lives and even twins who can feel each other's pain, so it doesn't sound too strange."

  "I'm inclined to think that since we're fraternal twins it's not a lack on my part, but a gift on his. It's like I'm an emotional radio station and he's the receiver."

  "Do you ever feel obligated to feel good for his benefit?"

  "Sure. But I think we all feel that to some degree. Don't you ever hide your feelings and only show people the good?"

  Gretchen snorted. "Of course."

  "It's like that for me, too. The only difference is that he knows when it's a lie. But like I said, my mom sees through me, too, and to a lesser extent, so do my other brothers. But that's sort of what family is. People who know you."

  Gretchen held back the urge to say that not all families were like that. She didn't want to introduce anything depressing into their conversation. It occurred to her that she was doing exactly what they had just talked about and the irony made her smile.

  "What did they think about all this at your camp?" Carrie asked.

  "I didn't tell them either." She remembered that she had to sing and groaned.

  "What is it?"

  Gretchen shook her head and started to get up. "Something they want me to do later. I'm not talking about it without a beer in my hand. Are you hungry?"

  Carrie started to get up and Gretchen stopped her. She waded across the river and untied the inner tube. Dragging it behind her, she pulled it up onto the sand next to the blanket and opened the cooler. "I hope you like peanut butter and jam sandwiches."

  "What kind of jam?"

  "Strawberry."

  "I love it."

  Gretchen handed her a sandwich and a beer, then helped herself.

  "What do you have to do later?"

  Gretchen took a long drink of beer and her eyes watered at the cold bite of it. "Rachel promised to make us a cobbler if we picked berries today. Since I'm 'goofing off', as they put it, they seem to think that I should have to do something special for them in order to share in it."

  "And that would be?"

  Gretchen grimaced. "Sing."

  Carrie grinned. "That doesn't sound so bad."

  "You haven't heard me sing."

  "You have a beautiful voice. I'd love to hear you sing."

  Gretchen bit into her sandwich and shook her head.

  "Come on," Carrie pleaded. "Sing something for me."

  "No."

  Carrie's eyes opened wide. "No?"

  "No."

  "I'd sing for you if you asked me."

  Gretchen shrugged. "I'm not asking."

  Carrie laughed in disbelief. "You allow me to make love to you, but you won't sing for me?"

  "Singing and making love are not at all related."

  "Then I must not be doing it right."

  Gretchen rolled her eyes and held up a hand. "Don't even try and guilt me into it."

  "Will you at least tell me why you won't sing?"

  "Because I'm tone deaf. I can't sing."

  "Oh, please. Don't you listen to the radio? Half of today's best selling recording artists can't sing. That doesn't stop them."

  "Well, they all sound good to me. I can't tell the difference."

  "I refuse to believe that someone with a voice as beautiful as yours can't sing."

  "I guess it was a trade off. I got a nice speaking voice and no singing ability." Carrie continued to eat her lunch, but she was obviously planning something and it made Gretchen nervous. "What are you thinking?"

  "I'm trying to decide how to make you sing for me."

  Gretchen laughed. "Give it up, Carrie. It's never going to happen. You can't make me sing."

  Carrie finished her sandwich and reached for an apple. "I have four brothers. They provided me with a thorough education in the arts of manipulation and force. I'm reasonably sure that I can make you do anything I want."

  Such a bold statement shocked Gretchen and she felt her hackles go up. "I can't believe you would say such a thing. You would force me to sing for you?"

  Carrie grinned and bit into the apple with a crunch. "You could just do it and I won't have to be unpleasant. It's up to you."

  Gretchen was suddenly on very uncertain ground. It occurred to her that she really didn't know Carrie, regardless of how intimate they had become. She had no way of knowing what Carrie was capable of in order to get what she wanted. She was tempted to sing just to avoid finding out. "What are you going to do?"

  "I haven't decided yet." Carrie stared at her apple, looking for her next bite. "This apple is really good. Very sweet."

  Gretchen sat with her lunch in one hand and a beer in the other. She wasn't sure what to do. Sing and endure Carrie's ridicule or refuse and suffer the consequences. Carrie seemed totally calm and Gretchen found that even more distressing than threats.

  Carrie finished her apple and tossed the core in the river. "Thank you for lunch."

  "There's more." Gretchen swallowed nervously.

  "Maybe later." Carrie swung around behind Gretchen and put her arms around her waist. "Eat. I want to make love to you."

  Gretchen forced herself to finish her sandwich while Carrie nuzzled her neck and ear. It was hard to stay scared when Carrie's lips raised such delicious sensations. She felt herself weakening and after a final mouthful of beer, she turned in Carrie's arms and pulled her mouth down for a kiss. Carrie was more knowledgeable about her body this time and she deliberately brought Gretchen to the edge of orgasm and held her there.

  "Does this feel good?"

  Gretchen was all but crying for release. "Yes!"

  "Do you want to come?"

  "Yes!"

  "Will you sing for me?"

  Gretchen hesitated and Carrie's caress stilled. She groaned. "Not fair. Please."

  "Promise me," Carrie said.

  She felt Carrie's fingers move in a reminder and then stop again. She was too close to endure much more, but she couldn't let herself surrender to such blatant manipulation. "No."

  Carrie's laughter accompanied renewed stroking and Gretchen came in a blaze of light and sound. She heard herself cry out and was shocked at herself. At the same time, however, allowing her passion voice at the height was remarkably satisfying both physically and emotionally. "That was mean," she gasped.

  Carrie lowered her to the ground and lay on her. "It would have been mean if I had held out for your promise, but I wanted you to come. You weren't quiet that time," she said proudly. "I'll bet they heard you in camp."

  "Whose camp?" Gretchen giggled.

  "Both." Carrie kissed her way from ear to neck and stopped at a point just below her jaw. "This is where I'm going to put it."

  "Put what?"

  "A monster hickey."

  "No hickeys," Gretchen said quickly. "They'll see it."

  "A big old fat hickey right there. Unless you sing for me."

  "You wouldn't," Gretchen laughed.

  Carrie's voice was quiet and sure. "I promise you that I will. You have ten seconds to decide."

  Gretchen sputtered and objected as Carrie counted down. She tried to get away, but Carrie had her pinned and she couldn't fight back. "Wait!" she screamed out as Carrie's mouth found its mark. "Wait."

  "Yes or no?" Carrie grinned.

  Gretchen wasn't really angry, but it was the next closest thing. "I am so going to get you back for this."

  "Is that a yes?"

&n
bsp; Gretchen nodded.

  "You have to say it," Carrie pressed.

  "Yes."

  "Yes, what?"

  Gretchen wiggled and still couldn't escape. "Yes, I will sing for you." Carrie kissed her mouth quickly and backed off. Gretchen sat up and glared at her. "I ought to give you a hickey."

  Carrie held her arms wide. "Go ahead. Not only do I deserve it, my family will get a kick out of it."

  Gretchen ended up singing Happy Birthday after drinking a second beer for courage. Carrie's face beamed with excitement as her small voice mangled the brief tune.

  "That wasn't nearly as bad as I expected," Carrie said as she hugged her.

  Gretchen mumbled into her shoulder. "I feel like an idiot."

  Carrie laughed. "You're adorable, Gretchen, but you have to sing with enthusiasm or it just won't work."

  "You heard how bad I was."

  Carrie kissed her face. "You can't miss the cobbler. The berries around here are wonderful. Now, what are you going to sing?"

  Gretchen hedged and whined, but Carrie was so loving, attentive and relentless that she gave in and began to enjoy herself. Carrie taught her a song that made her laugh and they sang it over and over until Gretchen had it down pat.

  "One more time," Carrie urged, "and then I'll leave you alone."

  Gretchen took a deep breath and sang. "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna go eat worms. Big fat short ones, long tall skinny ones, I love the way they squirm…" She sang it straight through at full voice, laughing as Carrie picked her up in a bear hug and swung her around.

  "That was perfect! Sing it just like that and you'll knock their socks off!"

  Gretchen hid her face. "I can't believe I'm going to sing for cobbler."

  "Not for cobbler," Carrie laughed. "To prove that they can't scare you off or bully you."

  "You did."

  "That was different."

  "How?"

  Carrie shrugged. "Because you secretly wanted me to force you."

  Play erupted and Gretchen chased Carrie through the river and around trees, shrieking and laughing until she managed to pin her against a rock and kiss her. The dreamy feel to the day increased and they made love and talked and made love again.

  Gretchen looked with regret at the sun's position and knew it was time to go. She snuggled deeper into Carrie's body. "I don't ever want to leave. I want to stay here forever."

  "I can build a fire," Carrie offered. "We could sleep here. You never did try out the air mattress."

  "I wish I could."

  "Let's do it," Carrie begged.

  "They're going to start looking for me soon. If I don't come back and they can't find me, they'll call Search and Rescue." She closed her eyes as Carrie kissed her forehead.

  "Can you come back tomorrow?"

  "I think I accidentally agreed to stay in camp tomorrow. I could have kicked myself, but I couldn't think of a way out of it without hurting Wendy's feelings." She could see Carrie's disappointment. "Maybe I could get away for a little while in the afternoon, but I can't promise. I resent feeling obligated to spending time with them. I like some of them all right, but they're not my friends. They're just people I know."

  "It's okay, Gretchen. I'll be here at one tomorrow and I'll stay for a couple of hours. If you can't come I'll understand that it's not because you don't want to be here."

  Gretchen leaned on an elbow so she could see Carrie's face better. "The next day is my last full day here, you know. I don't care what happens at camp. I want to spend every minute of it with you."

  Carrie smiled. "Then I can live with not seeing you tomorrow if that's what happens."

  Gretchen kissed her for being so understanding and being so flexible about it. Working together they cleaned up the beach and packed their things. They shared a last fiery kiss that threatened to make them late, then turned and went their separate ways.

  Part Two

  It had been such an incredible, amazing, passionate, unforgettable, wild and utterly enjoyable day that Carrie couldn't even feel bad about not seeing Gretchen the next day. She grinned and laughed and sang to herself as she walked, almost forgetting to stop and put her clothes back on before arriving at camp.

  Her oldest nephew, Jonny, was the first person she saw and she waved to him as he ran to join her.

  "Aunt Carrie! Aunt Carrie! I caught a fish!"

  "No way!"

  "Uh huh!" He puffed his chest out proudly as they walked. "Daddy said we could eat it. Do you want some?"

  "Absolutely!" Carrie suspected it was not going to be a pleasant experience and she resolved to do something rotten to Eric in return. "Congratulations!"

  "Can I pull your tube?"

  Carrie handed over the rope and he proudly marched in front of her, the tube dragging him more than he was pulling it. When they reached the trail up to camp, Carrie hefted the cooler in her arms. Jonny flipped the tube up and used the inner netting to balance it on his head.

  "Daddy says you had a date."

  "Something like that."

  "What did you do?"

  Carrie smiled. "Oh, we rode in a limousine and went to dinner, then we went to a movie and did some dancing."

  Johnny was quiet for a moment. "There's no limousines or movies in camping."

  "There's no fooling you, is there?"

  "You always tease us and make up stories," he complained.

  "And you always figure it out," she said fondly. "I like that you're so smart."

  Jonny beamed through the netting at her.

  "There you are, dear."

  Carrie looked up and into her mother's eyes. "Am I too late for dinner?"

  Her mother's eyes searched her face as Jonny marched on past and apparently she liked what she saw. She put her arm around Carrie's shoulders. "It's good to see you happy again. It breaks my heart to see you miserable."

  Carrie leaned past the cooler and kissed her cheek. "I love you, Mom."

  "Of course you do," her mother said briskly. "I raised my kids up right."

  Carrie laughed and headed for the cooking area.

  "Look out for Bruce," her mother warned. "He seems to think…"

  "There you are!" Bruce's tenor rang out. "You dog!"

  Carrie set her burden down and Bruce lifted her into the air. "Put me down, you ape!" She twisted his ears and laughed, but he bounced her in his arms.

  "I know what you've been doing," he hissed at her.

  "You think you know," she corrected.

  "You've been getting lucky almost constantly since about 2 hours after you left."

  He looked pleased with himself and Carrie colored sharply. "You're guessing!"

  Bruce lowered her to the ground and hugged her. "I'm not guessing, Sis. She makes you happy."

  "This isn't fair. How come you got all the psychic ability?"

  "You got the good looks and the brains. I'm happy for you. I hope it works out."

  Carrie hugged him back. "You're the best, Bruce."

  "About time you figured that out." He released her and punched her in the arm, then turned to the others and held his hand out. "Pay up, guys."

  "You took bets?" Carrie asked in embarrassed horror.

  "Man's got to make a living."

  Carrie opened her little cooler and tossed out all the cans and bottles. She picked it up, half ice and half water, dumped it over him as he collected and then ran like hell. She didn't get far and she put up a good fight, but it wasn't until the wives took pity on her that Bruce was driven off. She wandered back to the campfire with them, picking burrs out of her hair.

  "What's her name?" Julian's wife, Clarisa, asked.

  "Gretchen. She's blonde; a little shorter, a little younger and gorgeous. You'd like her. She's got a great sense of humor."

  "Do we get to meet her?"

  "Probably not," Carrie admitted with regret. "We haven't talked about the future at all."

  Bruce's wife, Phoebe, took her hand. "So, did you really…?"
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br />   Carrie felt her face growing hot again. "Most of the day. It bugs me that he always knows about me and I never know about him."

  Phoebe laughed. "Doesn't bother me at all. But I have to tell you, it sure makes him randy."

  Carrie covered her face with both hands and a groan. "I don't want to know things like that, Phebes." The wives laughed at her discomfiture and Carrie dropped onto a log by the fire.

  Jonny's fish turned out to be some sort of bottom feeder and there was just enough of it that everyone had to choke down a bite. Jonny was puffed up like an old bullfrog with pride and that just barely made it worth it. To keep her sex life out of the conversation, Carrie sat next to Uncle Gus and listened to his hunting and fishing stories. If you relaxed with a beer in your hand, he was actually kind of fun to talk to and it made her feel closer to her dad because he figured prominently in most of Uncle Gus' tales.

  Eventually, her family drifted off to bed and Carrie pulled a lounge chair over by the fire. She watched the stars and wondered if Gretchen was doing the same.

  "Make some room for your mother."

  Carrie pulled her knees up and her mother sat down at the foot. At her mother's urging she placed her legs on her lap.

  "I'm happy for you, honey, but I'm worried for you, too."

  "I know," Carrie said quietly. "I'm not worried exactly, but I know I'm not thinking clearly."

  "Do you love her?"

  "Yes and no. I barely know her, but I think I could love her."

  "What happens at the end of this trip?"

  "We are deliberately not talking about it. She lives over in Edgewater and she's happy there."

  "Will you try to have a long distance relationship?"

  "I hope so. I hate to think it could just be over." Their voices were soft and private.

  "If it doesn't work out, what happens to your heart?"

  Carrie heard her mother's real question. "Will I go back to how I was? I hope not. I think a part of me knows that it will probably end when she goes home, but the part of me that was broken seems to be healing. I don't know what happened between Tracey and I; I probably never will, but it's in the past now. It wasn't before I met Gretchen."

  "What's she like?"

  Carrie's heart grew tender. "She's very pretty and she's clever. I think she's smart, too, but clever describes her better. She's really feisty, Mom, and she laughs at herself. I know she's recovering from a relationship, too, but I don't know anything about it. She works the front desk in a medical office. Her family lives in South Carolina and her dad calls her 'The Brat'."