Hearts Renewed Read online

  Carrie finished her beer with a smile and tossed the empty can in the neighborhood of her pack. Beer always went straight to her bladder and now was no exception. With no other convenient options, she stood up and waded into the water. Facing upstream, she crouched down and used her hands to wash sand off her butt. Resting her elbows on her knees, she saw Gretchen watching her curiously. "Don't watch."

  "Watch what?"

  "I can't do it if you're watching. I hardly know you."

  Gretchen's eyes opened wide. "You're doing it in the river?"

  "Do you have a better idea?"

  Gretchen looked around quickly. "I guess not." She stood up and began making her way carefully into the water.

  "What are you doing?"

  "I have to go, too."

  Carrie pointed at her feet. "You should put your shoes on. It saves your feet."

  Gretchen got back out to get her shoes and waded back in. By the time she crouched a few feet away, Carrie was done and she watched Gretchen's eyes close in relief. "You haven't been camping before, have you?"

  "Nope," Gretchen said easily. "And I've got to tell you, the whole sleeping on the ground thing is completely overrated. I wake up feeling like I've been beaten with sticks. And I hate the sleeping bags. You can't even move in them. It's like being tied up in a blanket."

  "You've got one of those survival type mummy bags, don't you?"

  "The clerk said it was good to 20 below zero."

  "But it only gets down to about 50 here."

  Gretchen glared. "You're a big help, Carrie."

  She couldn't help but laugh. "Come here. I'll show you something nice." She led Gretchen to the rock she had been sunning on and braced herself on the upstream side. Putting her feet on the rock, she stood up into the current and let it sluice over her. "Can you see what I'm doing?"

  "Yeah."

  "Come on. It feels good."

  It took Gretchen several tries before she found her balance and stabilized in the current. Carrie heard her sigh over the noise of the river and smiled. Gretchen's hand touched hers and quickly latched on. Carrie was more than content and they lay in the water's embrace for sometime in silence.

  "It's like being in a waterfall," Gretchen finally said loudly. "Not that I've ever been in one, but it's how I imagine it would be."

  "I like how the water feels like separate threads. More like solid rain than anything else."

  "How do you get out of it without being dashed against the rock?"

  "Bend your knees and get your hands on it." Gretchen's hand let go of hers and in moments she was pulling herself up to sit on the rock. Carrie decided to show off a bit. She tipped her chin up and arched her back. Water gushed over her face and pushed her under. She reversed the motion smoothly and was pushed back to the surface. Finding the rhythm of the river she began to 'porpoise'. Her eldest brother had patiently taught her how to do this when she was young and it had been one of her favorite water sports once she got the hang of it. Breathing out slowly and grabbing fresh air every third or fourth time she surfaced, she continued to surf the current until she began to lose track of her surroundings. She crouched abruptly and let the water lift her up on the rock.

  "That was amazing," Gretchen said with awe. "You looked like a dolphin. It was beautiful."

  Carrie wiped her hair out of her eyes. "It's fun. You start to forget you're human if you do it long enough."

  Gretchen pulled her feet up on the rock and hugged her knees. "I'm glad you came along. It was nice before, too, but I feel safer and more relaxed with company."

  Carrie didn't know how to answer that without looking like a klutz. "Tell me about the people you're camping with."

  "Well, it's not a therapy group. It's just some people who get together and have coffee. I've only been to four meetings. Rachel is the leader, but she's not a therapist or anything. I get the impression she likes feeling like one, but she seems very responsible about not messing with people's heads. She's strong and confident and I kind of like her, but she's not very forthcoming about herself."

  Carrie turned around and stretched out on the rock. Caring more about the warmth than a tan, she turned on her belly and rested her face on her hands. Gretchen followed suit as she continued to talk.

  "Linda is…" Gretchen snorted. "To be perfectly honest, I don't like her. I can't tell if she's incredibly bitter or just plain mean. She's bossy and controlling and she constantly challenges everyone. Whenever she really starts to pick on someone Rachel steps in and puts a stop to it, but it's an ongoing battle and she just irritates me. Kirsten, on the other hand, is on the make."

  Carrie chuckled. Their elbows were touching and their eyes were locked. She felt completely drawn to this woman and the sound of her voice gave her goose bumps. She knew this sort of thing was possible, but it was so unlikely that she wasn't sure how to handle it.

  "She has this way of moving," Gretchen explained. "Like she's a cat rubbing up against your leg. It might be flattering if it weren't so relentless and indiscriminate."

  "Has she put the move on you, too?"

  "See, it's not really like that. It's not personal and she never does anything inappropriate, it's just like…an open invitation. I'm starting to think it's all an act though. If you actually responded to it, I think she'd back off. I think she uses it as a mask, but I don't know what she's protecting. Aside from that, she really quite nice."

  Carrie counted in her head. "That's three. What about the others?"

  "Brooke is the youngest-I think she's 26-and she's very defensive. You have to be on constant guard with what you say because somehow everything is a judgement on her. She's totally self-absorbed and doesn't realize it. It's not that she's out of control, but she pops up at the strangest times and turns your words into a value judgement of her life. And she cries all the time. Sometimes I just want to shake her.

  "Wendy is unbearably sweet, but she has Doormat printed on her forehead. She never has an opinion or an unkind word. I think she's been hurt pretty badly, but I suspect it started when she was young as opposed to a recent trauma. I think she needs to get into a real therapy group. Either that or she needs to take martial arts. Maybe that would boost her confidence. But she has a heart of gold and you just want to hug her and make everything all better for her. If she got the right kind of help I think she'd make someone a wonderful partner."

  Gretchen turned on her side and propped her head up on her hand. "I like Noreen. We don't have anything in common, but she's smart and witty. She tends to be very quiet and withdrawn, but it's not a helpless attitude. She chooses to be that way. I think if you want to be friends with her, you have to do all the work in establishing intimacy. I think she has all these walls you've got to climb over to get to her, but I suspect that if you're willing to do the work, she's probably the type of woman who would make an excellent partner."

  "Are you interested in her?"

  Gretchen grinned. "No."

  "Why not?"

  "Zero chemistry. I'm not sure she even has pheromones."

  Carrie wanted to ask if she had the pheromones Gretchen was looking for, but she'd only met her an hour ago and she was afraid to be the only one feeling it.

  "So," Gretchen asked, "who are you camping with?"

  "My family. This is our annual camping trip. We go someplace new every year."

  "Tell me about them."

  Carrie smiled. "I'm the only girl and I'm number four out of five, but I'm twinned with number three."

  Gretchen blinked. "You're a twin?"

  "Fraternal, of course. We look like siblings, not like duplicates. I'm closer to him emotionally than the others, but we weren't dressed alike as children or anything. He swears he always knows when I'm depressed or happy, but then, he's always been a little dramatic."

  "What's his name?"

  "Bruce." Carrie watched Gretchen figuring it out. "I know. Bruce Wayne. Batman. Batman and Carrie."

  "Your parents must have a good sense
of humor."

  "We were named after our grandparents. They swore it wasn't deliberate."

  "What about your other brothers?"

  "Eric, Julian and Trevor-in that order."

  "Who else is at your camp?"

  "My mom, my Uncle Gus-he's not really my uncle-he was my father's best friend and we sort of adopted him. All of my brothers are married so their wives are here. And then, Eric has two kids, Julian has three and Bruce and Trevor each have one."

  Gretchen's face was uncertain. "And your dad?"

  "He died of cancer a few years ago. He went real quick so we didn't have to watch him suffer. He was a great guy."

  "I'm sorry to hear that."

  Carrie didn't feel particularly grief stricken anymore. She had her moments, but this wasn't one of them. "What about your family?"

  "All alive and well and living in North Carolina. I've got 2 older sisters and 3 nieces. My family doesn't seem prone to boys except through marriage."

  "I've always wondered what it would be like to have a sister," Carrie mused. "Someone to talk to and share things with."

  Gretchen laughed. "In my experience, there are moments like that, but it seems to be mostly bickering and fighting and competing. That's one of the main reasons I moved so far away. It can be fun in small doses and with a few stiff drinks, but as a way of life? Forget it."

  "That's too bad. My family isn't like that at all."

  "It's all in the parents," Gretchen said cryptically. "I thought we weren't supposed to talk about anything depressing."

  Carrie smiled. "Okay. Where do you live now?"

  "Edgewater. It's about two hours from here."

  "Do you like it?"

  "I love it," Gretchen said happily. "It's clean and pretty and the people are simple without being stupid or ignorant."

  "I live in Breining. The other direction."

  "Do you like it?"

  Carrie shrugged. "I grew up there. It's familiar."

  Gretchen shook her head and tsked disapprovingly. "You don't love your job and you don't love your hometown. That's two strikes, Carrie."

  "What are you saying?" Carrie felt herself beginning to bristle. "One more thing and I'll have to move? Are you always this bossy?"

  "I'm not bossy," Gretchen said lightly. "As the youngest child it's my job to be precocious and spoiled. I get to say whatever I want and you have to think it's cute."

  "I see," Carrie said with mock severity. "By any chance, does your daddy call you 'Princess'?"

  Gretchen frowned. "He calls me 'The Brat'."

  "I defer to his judgement," Carrie teased. There was nothing to grab onto as Gretchen shoved her into the river. Carrie let herself float to the surface and laughed as the current slowly carried her down river. She was forced to sit up when her ass began bumping along the river bottom and she dug her feet in to keep from going any further downstream. She couldn't quit grinning and she idly picked up rocks and skipped them along the surface while she tried to get her attraction under control.

  I really like her. I feel comfortable and safe with her. I like how she looks and talks and smiles and I like that she makes fun of herself. It's odd that I should accidentally run into her here. It makes me wonder if there really is such a thing as fate. It's too bad she lives so far away. Driving over 200 miles to take someone on a date seems a little extreme. Would I ask her out if she lived in Breining? Yeah, I would. But I'll probably never see her again and there's no guarantee that she'd even want to see me. Does she even like me?

  Carrie turned to look back at the rock. She's watching me. I think she does like me. She did say she was glad I showed up. I wonder if she has more than kind feelings. What would I do if she did?

  Carrie got to her feet and strolled back towards Gretchen. She still had her grin and she couldn't make it go away. Gretchen was grinning, too, and Carrie stopped about 10 feet away to stare at her. They couldn't keep it up for long and they were soon laughing at one another.

  "I'm sorry," they said together.

  "My dad's right," Gretchen said. "I am a brat. I shouldn't have said…"

  "No," Carrie interrupted. "It's just that I've got so many people telling me what I should do with my life right now. They all mean well, but after a while I start hearing it in every conversation."

  Gretchen cocked her head hopefully. "Friends?"

  Carrie nodded. "I'm hungry. I've got tons of food. Do you want to share?"

  "I'd love to. Will you teach me how to skip rocks?"

  "Food first," Carrie agreed. She spread out her damp towel on the sand and they sat cross-legged, knee to knee as she pulled food from her pack. She hadn't paid much attention when she loaded her pack so it was a little like opening a grab bag. She found fruit salad, fried chicken, corn on the cob, a single desiccated hot dog and pork and beans. "I'm not sure that will taste good cold," Carrie said of the last item.

  "Hot-cold-I'm past caring. How come you brought so much?"

  "I just grabbed the containers that were obviously leftovers. I didn't feel like repacking everything smaller. There's only one spoon though."

  "Have you got anything I should worry about?"

  The hots for you. "No. I'm clean."

  "Me, too."

  Gretchen wasn't shy about digging in and Carrie was hard pressed to keep up. Whoever had the spoon was as likely to feed herself as the other and Carrie couldn't decide whether she enjoyed being fed or feeding Gretchen more.

  "Why does this taste so good?" Gretchen asked with real pleasure.

  "It's a camping thing," Carrie suggested. "It's like the coffee in the morning."

  "You're right," Gretchen said with sudden realization. "It smells 10 times as good here as it does at home."

  "Even people who don't drink coffee at home just have to have a cup when they're camping."

  "I had a baked potato last night that almost made me cry it was so good."

  Carrie held up the cob she was working on. "This corn was better last night, too. It was baked in the coals of the fire with the husks still on and it was sweet beyond belief."

  "It's still good," Gretchen insisted.

  "I like how you eat," Carrie surprised herself by saying.

  Gretchen stopped, uncertain. "What do you mean?"

  "Well, you're not afraid of your food."

  Gretchen grinned. "I know what you mean. But I have to admit, I'm eating twice as much camping as I eat at home." Gretchen nodded at the fruit salad. "Will you give me a bite of that?"

  Carrie offered a spoonful and held her breath as Gretchen closed her lips over the spoon and pulled back. The tip of Gretchen's tongue darted out for a brief moment and then disappeared. Carrie dropped her eyes and brought a bite to her own mouth. She could feel Gretchen's lips on the spoon as she pulled it out slowly. Gretchen was watching her and she looked away as if caught doing something naughty. "Do you want to split this last beer?"

  "I thought you'd never ask."

  Carrie let Gretchen do the honors and take the first drink. Together, they demolished all of the food-even the pitiful little hot dog. Gretchen insisted on washing up and Carrie watched her at the water's edge cleaning her mother's Tupperware. She could tell that Gretchen was starting to pink up in the sun, so she moved the towel to a shady spot and got out her sunscreen. "You should use this," she said when Gretchen came back. "It would be a shame if you burned this early in your trip."

  Gretchen nodded and turned to kneel in front of her. "Will you do my back?"

  It honestly had not occurred to Carrie that she might be asked to perform this service and she felt her hands shaking as Gretchen lifted her hair out of the way. Using both hands, she patiently worked the lotion into the flawless skin. She tried to balance business-like with considerate and was disappointed when it was over.

  "You have a nice touch," Gretchen said softly. "Turn around and I'll do you."

  Carrie turned and leaned forward. She could hear Gretchen rubbing lotion into her hands and tried to rela
x. Her touch, when it came, was slow and sensual and Carrie's bones turned to honey.

  "You have a scar on your shoulder," Gretchen said as her finger traced it. "How did you get it?"

  "Parachuting accident."

  "I've always wanted to try that. What's it like?"

  "I couldn't say." Carrie concentrated on her breathing. It had been so long since she had been touched that her brain didn't seem capable of handling the sensation. "I was four years old. Eric and Julian built a parachute out of my mother's best sheets and 2 x 4's and tied me to it. They threw me off the roof. It didn't work."

  Gretchen was laughing helplessly and Carrie smiled as Gretchen's forehead pressed into the back of her neck.

  "We lived in a two story house," she continued. "I'm lucky I didn't get killed."

  Gretchen lifted her head and her hands moved over Carrie's shoulders and down her arms before moving back up to spread like wings over her shoulder blades. "Why did you let them do that?" Gretchen continued to laugh.

  "I was four!" Carrie defended herself. "They said it would be like flying and I believed them. I was the smallest except for Trevor and he was only a toddler. Bruce had chicken pox so it had to be me. I broke my collarbone, my arm in two places and there's another scar on my head." She reached up to touch it and felt Gretchen's hands move to her hair. She almost groaned when she felt lush breasts press into her back.

  "Yikes!" Gretchen said with reverence. "You could have died. I thought you were kidding."

  "I think Eric and Julian got the worst of it. Both of my parents had a go at them and they couldn't sit down for a week. I swear, it took 10 years off my mother's life."

  "I can't even remember being four," Gretchen said as her hands continued their job. "I barely remember first grade, so I must have been about six."

  "I remember Trevor coming home from the hospital right after I turned three. Bruce doesn't, but I do."

  Gretchen worked silently and Carrie savored every moment of it. When she was finished, they sat side by side and covered themselves with the protective cream.

  "I should have brought a razor," Gretchen said regretfully. "My legs are all prickly. I brought all the stuff on the list, but I didn't think to bring stuff I use all the time."